This Is What is Killing You

If you mess up, then fess up!

There is so much power in saying, "I was wrong."

When truthfully said, it has the power to set you free from the burden of guilt and the chains of regret. "I was wrong" liberates you from the mindset that keeps you doing hurtful habits. When you admit that you were wrong, you are disempowering who you think you are and begin energizing your potential to be the best you can be.  

First, let's look at the things that are stopping you. 

EGOism

Egoism is at the forefront of why people stop admitting their mistakes. It places such a huge value on self, and your interests alone are the sole motivation for all of your actions. So, if you believe that admitting fault goes against your best interest, then you are less likely to do so.

That's why we see people who can't get themselves to say "sorry" as people who are conceited. Blinded by their self-centerdness, they don't feel compelled to apologize because they often think that they aren't wrong. And even if they could see that they were wrong they wouldn't admit it because it doesn't suit their self-interest.

When you can't admit that you're wrong, you're thinking of yourself first and that's a serious egoistical issue. Don't get confused, having a sound ego is a good thing, while having a big ego is dangerous. Your ego should be your servant. It should not master you. If you come before those you've wronged, then you are at the center of your universe.

But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”
— James 4:6

Living with yourself as the center of the universe has you playing god. You are not God. If you can't say you're wrong because if doesn't benefit you then your worshiping yourself by uplifting your justifications for refusing to humble yourself. Your arrogance is keeping you from benefitting what's actually going to be the best thing for you: grace

 

Fear

A lot of people fall into several sub-categories of fear driven reasons that stop them from admitting they are wrong. I want to touch on two of these. 

1. Fear of losing your reputation

You have worked so hard to withhold your standards. Maybe you have invested so much into the perception that people have of you but let's get this one straight. You are not living off of perception. You are living off of your reality. When you go to bed at night, their perception of you shouldn't be what fuels your peace. 

For some of you, it might be hard to live with yourselves knowing how broken, emotionally damaged, and depressed you are but you won't even show that side of you or seek help because you have a reputation to keep. That is madness!

You have a life to live and when you don't get help for this you end up hurting yourself more than you know. You may not realize it now, but playing a part for people who don't care about you only burdens you with pressure. This pressure, bottled off long enough, will someday manifest itself in horrible ways. 

The only reputation you have to worry about is the one that you know in your heart is true. If you are consistently lying to yourself and tell yourself there is nothing wrong then you are harming more than your reputation. Don't let this fear stop you from progression. 

Maybe you've won many fans over the years but you'll lose them if you won't be real. No one wants to follow a fraud. Holding on to your reputation is idolizing what will now be the ball to the chain that stop you from living free today. 

2. Fear of losing respect

I am worried for leaders who have this fear. I have seen leaders make mistakes but will keep them in secret because they fear the loss of respect from those who look up to them. In essence, they are  controlled by a mirage of fear. What you lose in followers' respects is nothing compared to what you will lose in the long run. 

We've all read about the politicians who get busted with corruption charges. No one ever saw that coming because they were publicly preaching integrity and justice for all while privately abusing the trust of the people with every bribe they took. 

Or maybe you've read about the ones who cheat on their spouses. It's a shock to everyone. No one can understand it.

It's pretty easy really. These people sought to further damage themselves by covering up their mess. We've all been there in some way, covering up, lying, because we don't want to lose respect. 

In those moments, we need to shine a light on our issues. When we don't, we lose the trust of those who follow us and that is a far more valuable currency than respect. Trust is almost irreplaceable. 

You may lose the respect of some but those people don't really matter. They were only around you, following you, for themselves. 

I think that there is no greater act of integrity of a man than to admit his weaknesses. At all times remember this, you're hurting yourself when you don't confess. 

Admit it and Quit it 

If you're wrong, own up to what you didn't do right. That's how you learn and earn respect. 

I will say it again, if you mess up, then fess up! We are not perfect. So we need to stop acting like we are perfect. "Therefore, confess, your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." James 5:16

Some of us are so broken and messed up and it's because we are pretending to be something we are not. If you don't have it together, mentally, or spiritually, say something! We need to pray for one another. 

Admitting it is the first step. It isn't easy for some but it is necessary for us all. "I was wrong" isn't an easy thing to say but it is the step towards making it right. 

 

Let me know what you think about all of this. I would love to read your feedback. Thanks. 

- Fredy