Ask more

Before I ever dated my wife, we spent about 5 years being friends. We were such good friends to each other that we would even give one another relationship advice (like we knew any better) to help when the other was having issues.

One day, I began to notice these crazy feelings I had. Though I loved her dearly, I began to notice that I would miss her more, think of her more, and want to give her more. I was falling in love.

But how could I risk such an awesome friendship? I would debate the reasons for these feelings. Was I just attracted to her beauty? Was I just getting too comfortable around her? Or did I really want to to take our relationship to the “next level”?

For several weeks I could not think of anything other than this!

I just kept thinking to myself, “if I ask her to be my girlfriend, I will ruin everything.” My fear was paralyzing. I know that I began to act weird. Maybe I would laugh nervously. I know that I would try so hard to contain my voice from spitting out what was inside of my heart. 

Then one day, as we were together I thought to myself, “Fredy, if you don’t ask, you’ll never know.”

So I asked her to give me (us) a chance. She knew it was coming. I knew she was enjoying my asking because of her smile. I was nervous and I’m sure my rant wasn’t smooth but it worked. 

I told her I wanted her to give me the chance to love her like “nobody’s business.” I wanted her to know that I would do anything that I could to make her happy. 

Did it work?

I think it worked.

I got a date with her. And then another. And another. After 4 great years of being so madly in love we are now married and crazy in love. Sometimes just crazy, like really crazy, but still happily in love. 

So here is the lesson for you today: Ask. Just ask. 

What’s the worst that can happen? Someone says “no”? It doesn’t really affect your circumstances because you stay the same Yet, if you get one “YES” then change happens. 

If it is only to benefit yourself then you're asking for selfish motives. But if you’re asking so that you’re able to be a benefit to others, then ask away. 

Don’t be shy. Don’t be afraid. Don’t be pushy. Just be confident. 

So my question: what is it that you should ask? And when will you ask? I would love to read your comments!

She's not sitting on Santa's lap, but she will ask me for anything.