Not Everything is Clear

Before I ever do anything, my meticulous nature kicks in and I usually seek answers to questions I don't even have. Daunting? Yes. And I have to live with myself! 

Like for example, before I got engaged I went on an investigative endeavor to find out what makes a marriage successful. I read every article I could on courting and getting financially set for marriage, I read a ton of books on relationships for the life-long commitment I was undertaking, and I must have asked (interviewed) dozens of married couples to find out their secrets for success. Even my prayers were beginning to sound so redundant because I kept asking for the same thing: "Lord, I don't want to fail at marriage. Please help." 

It was overwhelming!

All of those things aren't wrong. I actually encourage single and engaged people to pursue wisdom. 

Yet, I would say that for me, the experience wasn't entirely positive. My "due diligence" was driven by fear rather than by humbleness, wisdom, and love. I wanted to know everything there was to this thing called marriage before I actually said "I do" so that I would be everything I thought I should be. 

It hasn't even been a year yet and I will acknowledge what many people told me: You become by doing. 

My arrogant nature convinced me that I could learn and prepare myself for this awesome step in my life. I took it upon myself so that I wouldn't commit the same sins and mistakes that I had seen in other marriages. I wanted to setup so many safety nets so that if there was a slip-up, that it wouldn't be symbolically fatal. 

And here I am, just a little over 10 months of being a husband and I love it!

 Loved it. 

Loved it. 

I haven't been the greatest but I feel the greatest when she feels like the greatest. That's my intention here, now, to do what is right by God and my wife. I've learned so much about myself and marriage by learning on the fly than I have by reading books and going to conferences. Those things are good but they can never supplement living with such a commitment that no matter what may come and go, that we will always stay together; To death do us part!. 

You don't neglect being prepared. It is good that you are. Just know that you really don't and will not know everything there is to know and that should excite you. Remember, that resources should only compliment your living. You learn best by doing. 

  • Can you relate to this? How so? I would love to read it!
  • Do you feel like over-preparing is delaying you? 
  • What is your fear?

Leave your comments below!